and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
