If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
