I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
