I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
