Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is the high leading the old right now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
