The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
