please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize