Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
