I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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