i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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