Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
