got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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