So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
