CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish you could order shots online.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize