I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
