your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
