So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
