ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
