You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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