Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
