ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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