this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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