its not stalking. its research.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
