All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
