My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
