you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
