And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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