I wannas sexs uuuuu
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize