so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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