worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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