i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
