Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my being single is dangerous.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
