i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
