so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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