he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
