come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
