He uses pillows to masturbate.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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