I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
