sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
