I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
