Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
