sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
