Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
