i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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