Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
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