i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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