He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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