Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
