they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
