the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
